Random Chart Tuesday: Snake Oil Salesmen

In a today’s episode of the Red Dice Diaries RPG Podcast we talked a little bit about Snake Oil Salesmen, purveyors of dubious cure-alls and miracle tonics.

You can find a link to the podcast/audio version here:

Or–if you prefer–there is also a Youtube version available:

In the episode we talk about some of the potential RP benefits and texture that including such fraudulent “healers” can bring to a campaign where real magic actually exists, and why people in such a world might still be conned by these charismatic ne’er-do-wells.

If you need a quick Snake Oil Salesman in your campaign, use the madlib below and fill in the details by rolling on the provided tables to get some details on who they are and what they are selling.

Madlib

In the [PLACE] you see, [NAME1][NAME2] a [DESCRIPTION1][DESCRIPTION2] wearing [DESCRIPTION 3] clothes; they are selling a tonic called [NAME2]’s [TONIC1][TONIC2] said to [EFFECT 1], but actually it is made mainly of [INGREDIENT1] and [INGREDIENT2].

1D12 Roll	PLACE	NAME1	NAME2	DESCRIPTION1	DESCRIPTION2	DESCRIPTION3	TONIC1	TONIC2	EFFECT1	INGREDIENT1	INGREDIENT2
1	town	Marco	Wiseman	tall	rogue	mismatched	revitalising	tincture	restore lost hair	vinegar	vegetable matter
2	village	Jean	the All-Knowing	short	vagabond	theadbare	curing	tonic	renew youthful looks	salt	aniseed
3	city	Peter	the Wise	broad	eccentric	opulent	calming	remedy	bestow great strength	tallow	brandy
4	square	David	the Mystic	rotund	figure	stained	energising	compound	cure all ills	urine	fennel seeds
5	market	Michael	Plentiman	thin	jester	oddly coloured	medicinal	infusion	act as a marital aid	animal fat	parsley seeds
6	back alley	Fribzan	Curazo	excitable	salesman	fashionable	soporific	preserve	cure cholic	mineral oils	rhubarb
7	street	Salaya	Pinkerman	frantic	inventor	antique	reknowned	balm	prevent ailments caused by bad air	powdered stone	saffron
8	plaza	Samantha	the Divine	smooth	herballist	second-hand	world famous	cream	cure toothache	iron filings	liquorice
9	gardens	William	Hennesy	calculating	sage	dirty	family	elixir	remove joint pain	bile	drinking alcohol
10	field	Charlotte	the noted Doctor	mercenary	wise-person	immaculate	ancient	potion	cure hangovers	dung	caraway
11	hamlet	Marianne	the reknowned Physick	sensational	monk	creased	mystical	rub	make one proof against diseases	vegetable oil	fenugreek
12	tavern	Simbal	the Sage	flamboyant	priest	gaudy	purgative	tablets	cure skim blemishes	chalk powder	dandelion root

It is up to you as the GM as to whether the tonic has any actual effect, but a single dose can be purchased for 1D12 GP from the salesman.