Random Chart Tuesday: Snake Oil Salesmen

In a today’s episode of the Red Dice Diaries RPG Podcast we talked a little bit about Snake Oil Salesmen, purveyors of dubious cure-alls and miracle tonics.

You can find a link to the podcast/audio version here:

Or–if you prefer–there is also a Youtube version available:

In the episode we talk about some of the potential RP benefits and texture that including such fraudulent “healers” can bring to a campaign where real magic actually exists, and why people in such a world might still be conned by these charismatic ne’er-do-wells.

If you need a quick Snake Oil Salesman in your campaign, use the madlib below and fill in the details by rolling on the provided tables to get some details on who they are and what they are selling.

Madlib

In the [PLACE] you see, [NAME1][NAME2] a [DESCRIPTION1][DESCRIPTION2] wearing [DESCRIPTION 3] clothes; they are selling a tonic called [NAME2]’s [TONIC1][TONIC2] said to [EFFECT 1], but actually it is made mainly of [INGREDIENT1] and [INGREDIENT2].

1D12 RollPLACENAME1NAME2DESCRIPTION1DESCRIPTION2DESCRIPTION3TONIC1TONIC2EFFECT1INGREDIENT1INGREDIENT2
1townMarcoWisemantallroguemismatchedrevitalisingtincturerestore lost hairvinegarvegetable matter
2villageJeanthe All-Knowingshortvagabondtheadbarecuringtonicrenew youthful lookssaltaniseed
3cityPeterthe Wisebroadeccentricopulentcalmingremedybestow great strengthtallowbrandy
4squareDavidthe Mysticrotundfigurestainedenergisingcompoundcure all illsurinefennel seeds
5marketMichaelPlentimanthinjesteroddly colouredmedicinalinfusionact as a marital aidanimal fatparsley seeds
6back alleyFribzanCurazoexcitablesalesmanfashionablesoporificpreservecure cholicmineral oilsrhubarb
7streetSalayaPinkermanfranticinventorantiquereknownedbalmprevent ailments caused by bad airpowdered stonesaffron
8plazaSamanthathe Divinesmoothherballistsecond-handworld famouscreamcure toothacheiron filingsliquorice
9gardensWilliamHennesycalculatingsagedirtyfamilyelixirremove joint painbiledrinking alcohol
10fieldCharlottethe noted Doctormercenarywise-personimmaculateancientpotioncure hangoversdungcaraway
11hamletMariannethe reknowned Physicksensationalmonkcreasedmysticalrubmake one proof against diseasesvegetable oilfenugreek
12tavernSimbalthe Sageflamboyantpriestgaudypurgativetabletscure skim blemisheschalk powderdandelion root

It is up to you as the GM as to whether the tonic has any actual effect, but a single dose can be purchased for 1D12 GP from the salesman.

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